Benefits of Life Coaching for Fibromyalgia Relief

What’s Life Coaching?

Life Coaching has been defined as helping people determine and realize personal goals. Life Coaches use multiple methods that guide you in the direction in which you wish to go. Life Coaching is ideal for anyone who wants to bring balance and improve the quality of life.

What’s Fibro Coaching?

Fibro Coaching from FibroCoaching.com offers help, hope & healing for people with Fibromyalgia. You can talk to a trained and certified coach who has experienced Fibromyalgia and will listen, understand and support what you’re going through. We assist you with learning Fibromyalgia coping and management skills to improve the quality of your life.

How Do Our Fibro Coaches Help You?

Our Fibromyalgia coaches help you by lending a listening ear so you can express your frustrations, confusion and concerns about Fibromyalgia. Our Fibro Coaches practice what’s called “healing presence”. Healing presence is being consciously and compassionately in the present moment with you during your Fibro Coaching session. We believe in affirming your potential for wholeness, wherever you are in your Fibromyalgia journey.

Who Can Benefit from Fibro Coaching, Who Do We Coach?

• People with FM/CFS or similar chronic conditions who want to learn coping skills
• Couples/partners who are frustrated with how their relationship is affected by FM/CFS
• Caregivers, loved ones, employers and co-workers of people with FM/CFS who want to understand, support and honor people with FM/CFS

What Are the Benefits of Fibro Coaching Sessions?

• You’ll have a caring companion and confidant with whom you can share any Fibro frustration—without embarrassment or humiliation
• You’ll receive support and strategies to help you communicate with caregivers, co-workers and friends who “just don’t understand”
• You’ll clear up confusion about Fibromyalgia and it’s causes and symptoms so you can move on to managing your FM
• You’ll be empowered to make lifestyle changes for reducing stress and anxiety while increasing your comfort
• You’ll get plenty of encouragement to care for your own needs by taking time for your own self-care and self-growth
• You’ll see fresh perspectives in your life for hope and healing and deepen your awareness of healing possibilities

I urge you to schedule a Fibro Coaching session and experience improved quality of life by getting the support you need.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

Lying Down Helps Fibromyalgia Pain, Fatigue & Anxiety

Finding the right balance of activity and rest is one of the biggest challenges for people managing Fibromyalgia (FM) and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). The good news is that you can increase your control over your condition by consistently practicing what is often referred to as “pacing”. This means understanding the limitations imposed by your FM/CFS and learning to adjust your activity levels for increased comfort. By using pacing strategies you can bring greater stability to your life and prevent or greatly reduce flares.

Bruce Campbell, Ph.D., a recovered CFS patient, created and directs a CFIDS and FM Self-Help program. This program can be found at http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/ along with a textbook called, “The Patient’s Guide to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia”. In my opinion, this is the best self-management approach I’ve found to date.

In his chapter on pacing, Dr. Campbell defines rest as “lying down with your eyes closed in a quiet place”. He uses the term “pre-emptive rest” which means resting daily according to a planned schedule that works best for each individual with FM/CFS.

One of the best ways to manage FM/CFS successfully with pacing is to alternate activity with rest breaks. Lying down is the most restorative way to take a rest break for people with FM/CFS. When taking a rest break, lie down on a bed, the floor, a couch, a recliner or similar place that allows you to be as comfortable as possible.

Lying down for a rest break should be tailored to what works best for you. It should be a time of complete stillness and quiet with no distractions or activity (i.e., no reading, watching TV, talking to someone, etc.). Your eyes are closed and you are “letting go” of the activities you need to do until you have completed your rest break.

This is your time to just “be”. You might take a nap, listen to soothing music, meditate or listen to a guided relaxation, or just lie still and gently allow your thoughts to “settle down”. The length of your break depends on your individual needs and other activities you have planned. Experiment to see what works best and is most restorative—each day will be a bit different.

For myself, I find lying on the floor (I have a rug covered by a soft blanket) and relaxing for 15 to 30 minutes a few times a day helps me prevent fatigue, pain and anxiety. My breaks always make me feel more calm and tranquil. I enjoy very gentle yoga and stretching before and after my break and find meditation to be the best way for me to restore my energy.

Alternating your daily activities with rest breaks can help you pace your life and avoid crashes and flares. I invite you to send me your suggestions and successes with “lying down” rest breaks and how they help you reduce your FM/CFS symptoms.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

Caregiver Cooperation, Helping Loved Ones Help You with Fibromyalgia Management

Illness can create stress in relationships no matter what the illness is. For those of us with Fibromyalgia (FM) or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), it can be a real challenge to feel understood, comforted and supported when others lack understanding or sympathy for what we’re going through. Like you, the people around you can also feel frustrated, helpless and strained because of the restrictions imposed by your illness.

How do we recast our relationships to make them work for us and those we love? What can we do to relieve the tension and stress that our illness creates for ourselves and our relationships?

Below I offer a guide to help you, your spouse/family, employer/co-workers, friends, doctor or other caregivers to alleviate some of your relationship challenges. I suggest you share this with others to help them to help you. It will help them and you to see there are solutions for making relationships work despite the problems chronic illness can cause.

Accept. Acknowledge. Appreciate. Remember these three words and how they can help you on a daily basis to work with people in your life to help them help you.

Accept that you have a chronic, invisible illness and that, although you’re working toward improvement, you will need to adapt your lifestyle and your relationships to accommodate your challenges. Help caregivers help you by being honest about having FM/CFS and tell them you are doing your best to adapt. Ask caregivers to accept you as a unique individual, instead of a “sickly” person and request that they honor who you are, as you are.

Acknowledge, to yourself and to others, that your illness can create stress for others. Be respectful of other people by letting them know that your symptoms wax and wane and that you may not always be predictable or reliable. Help caregivers help you by being responsible for your own self-care by doing things that make you feel your best. When this is not working, ask loved ones to help you by communicating a clear, specific request rather than creating more stress by “being a good sport” when you don’t feel well.

Appreciate your caregiver’s support. Be grateful and respectful and tell them how much you appreciate their support and love. When caregivers know you appreciate their efforts it can help you and them to understand that you are not deliberately trying to make their life difficult. Help caregivers help you by taking the time to thank them for helping you with household chores, for giving you quiet time/space, for understanding your lack of energy or interest in activities, or by listening to you or giving you a hug when you need it.

Your caregivers and loved ones will be more cooperative when you don’t expect them to always understand and always be available to you. We can give and we can receive, it’s a two-way street. When you yield a little and understand caregiver’s frustrations and limitations in responding to you, you’ll relieve some of the tension, anxiety and hopelessness in all your relationships. Make sure you find sources of support  to meet a variety of needs so you don’t depend on one or two people for everything. Honor your caregivers as you wish them to honor you.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

A Fibro Friendly Lifestyle

One of the most frustrating challenges of having Fibromyalgia (FM) is creating a lifestyle that works for you. I can speak from my own experience after spending many years making adjustments in my life and having to deal with lots of obstacles.
 
It’s possible to manage, overcome or even recover from the symptoms of FM. However, this is not likely to happen if you are working 60 hours per week and trying to be everything to everyone. Enjoying a more comfortable life takes some effort on your part to explore what will make your life more manageable and less exhausting.
 
Here are 3 steps you can take to begin the process of making your life more comfortable and fibro friendly. I call this the three S’s method-remember the S’s when you need relief:

Self Care Toolbox
Create a box or a list where you put all the ideas you have about how your own self care can make you feel better. This can be things like taking a hot bath, doing some yoga, getting a massage, sipping tea, taking a relaxing walk in the woods, taking a nap, etc. Whenever you feel anxiety, stress or discomfort coming on, pull something from your “toolbox” to help you cope.
 
Stop Multitasking
I’m always encouraging people to take the term “multitasking” out of their vocabulary! It’s a really silly way of approaching things if you want to be a calm, peaceful and healthy person. Do one task at a time, and enjoy each task that you do. When you overwhelm yourself with a million things at once, you create anxiety and stress.
 
Stillness
When you are still you are just being. When you are just being, there is no worry or stress. When there is no worry or stress, there is a peace within. When there is a peace within, there is ease and comfort in your life. When there is ease and comfort in your life, you are whole and well. Spend 10 minutes a day just sitting and relaxing in the silence. I guarantee this practice will help you create the fibro friendly lifestyle you desire.
 
Believe in yourself and your ability to create a lifestyle of purpose and ease. Adjustments and changes in lifestyle and behavior may not happen as quickly as you would like, but they will come with time, just take a step at a time. I’ve made these adjustments to my own life over time and enjoy a much more peaceful, purposeful and comfortable life. They took time and patience, but I hope what I’ve shared here will help you get there faster than I did!

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

How to Improve the Quality of Your Life

Are you feeling frustrated about all the discomfort you’re experiencing with Fibromyalgia? How can you make changes in your life that can help improve the quality of your life?

Here’s a 3 step process to help you make lasting changes that can make a difference for you:

1. What’s your challenge? In other words—what’s bothering you the most right now? Let’s use working at a stressful job as an example. Perhaps you’re working a lot of hours and become exhausted from the stress and long hours.
2. Identify what you want. In other words—do you want something to change? Let’s use the challenge above to figure out what you want. Let’s say you want to work less hours at a less stressful job.
3. What’s your opportunity or possible solution? Begin to explore and ask questions about what you could do differently that might work for you. Could you work part time and live on less income? Would you have more energy if you had less stress by working fewer hours? Could someone help you find work that you’re more passionate about and would make you feel better about yourself? Do you really need to work or could you live on one paycheck (if married) and change your lifestyle to accommodate your health challenges?

This exploratory process could take days, weeks or even months to work through. The important thing is to START the process and take a step at a time. Improving the quality of your life won’t happen if you’re sitting around complaining about how bad things are. It CAN improve when you put your positive attention on what needs to change.

Set your intention NOW for what you want to change. In the above example you could write down:  My intention is to reduce stress and fatigue in my life by finding a solution to my stressful work life. Once you’ve stated this intention, let the Universe handle the details. Just stay focused on what you desire and pay attention to what comes up. Your solution may not come the way you expect, but it will come if you keep your attention on it for long enough.

NOTE:  I have used this example because it is one from my own personal experience that took time, but that I was able to resolve by continuing to focus on what I wanted and the possible solutions. The result, creating my own home based business, has greatly helped me to overcome stress, fatigue, negativity and frustration in my life.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

Simplify Your Life, Tips for Creating Simple Moments

Ahh, the simple moments in life; aren’t these the moments we cherish the most? In the haste of juggling the demands of family, friends, work and the needs of our own body and mind we often loose site of the simple pleasures that can balance the busyness and hectic pace of modern life. Finding simple and meaningful moments is more about HOW you live your life than being caught up in how much life there is to live in a day.

You are living the miracle of life. For it to touch your heart, you need to be present to life. If your heart is longing for precious moments of calm and stillness, you need to be willing to live the moment you are in—YES, THIS VERY MOMENT! 

When you’re extending yourself in all directions and feel overscheduled and rushed, bring yourself into the present moment by slowing yourself down and connecting to life JUST AS IT IS. Shed your addiction (at least for the moment) to the intensity of life long enough to delight in an ordinary moment.

It’s possible to work long hours and juggle the competing demands of your day by taking care to incorporate simple moments that will refresh and rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit. Below are some simple, delightful and ordinary things you can do throughout your day to create moments that make your life simpler, richer and more satisfying.

• Stop, Look, Listen. What’s going on around you? Take 5 minutes and observe. See and hear what you may have missed.
• Lie on your back for a few minutes and listen to or sense your own heartbeat—it’s your life-force.
• Engage mindfully in a simple activity such as eating, taking a shower or being with someone you love. Savor the moment as though you have nowhere to go and nothing else to do.
• Simply sit still. Be silent. Let go. Now is now. Be HERE.
• Pretend you are a child and experience the wonder of simple things like singing, dancing, skipping or giggling.
• Gratitude is a powerful remedy when you feel overwhelmed. Appreciate your blessings by whispering a few to yourself.
• Live in harmony with nature. Step outside and feel the warmth of the sun or the caress of the wind and drink in the beauty of the landscape.

Are you getting the idea? Create your own moments. Your life will seem less complicated and overfilled with obligations when you connect to meaningful moments by accepting your life as it already is. You can love being alive by immersing yourself in the sounds, sights and sensations of your life. It’s SIMPLE.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

Are You Being a Good Sport?

People just don’t understand your pain, discomfort, depression or fatigue. You’re harshly judged, even by family and friends as “making it all up”. You feel stereotyped as a whiner with an imaginary disorder. It seems hopeless that anyone will ever believe that you have FM.

As a result, do you play the “good sport”? Do you remain miserable and give up because people just don’t understand? Even when symptoms are at their worst, do you try to “act normal” so you don’t have to deal with people’s misperceptions?

If you’re like me, you may feel reluctant to tell people you have FM. Whether you tell people or you don’t, it’s often easier to just hide the symptoms than to explain them. I don’t think people intentionally lack empathy. They just don’t know how to deal with something they know little or nothing about and that is “invisible” to them.

How do you help others help you when you need to make lifestyle adjustments? Where do you find guidance, patience and compassion when you need assistance? How can you bring more awareness to others about a very REAL condition?

Public awareness and education has improved greatly over the past 10 years about FM. There are practitioners, support groups and a wealth of information that can confirm the legitimacy of an FM diagnosis.

Here are some tips on how to stop “being a good sport” and empower yourself to find help:

1)     There ARE people who get it. Find them. Have an open awareness of ways you might find people who can help you. Use the internet, check with churches and organizations and ask around.

2)     Take charge and be an advocate for yourself. This may not be easy, but you will need to learn to “speak up” for yourself if you want to make lifestyle adjustments for greater comfort.

3)     Find someone with a sympathetic ear so you can speak about your pain and frustration. There are many alternative/complimentary practitioners, counselors, coaches and consultants now who can listen non-judgementally and help you with relationships and situations you have to deal with on a daily basis.

4)     Have the courage to educate and inform others. There’s lots of great literature in books and on the internet. Find it and share it.

Please send your comments and suggestions. Sharing ideas and experiences is another great way to help raise awareness about FM.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

The Frustration of Being Misunderstood

The complaint I hear most often about coping with FM is that family, friends, employers and co-workers just don’t understand what it’s like to have FM. As if it’s not challenging enough to have an illness that is exhausting, painful and affects our ability to cope on a daily basis, we also have to deal with our relationships with people who don’t understand. We may not feel well, may be irritable or even not able to function because of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but people don’t SEE this and may not believe our symptoms are real.

So, how do you cope with all of this? How do you find relief and deal with the discomfort when you are around others? How can you feel supported and cared for when it seems no one believes you?

One of the best ways to cope is to set up a support system that can help you feel that someone understands and that people you care about also care about you. The number one way to do this is to have a couple of support people and/or a support group who’ve experienced FM or a similar chronic illness. It is much more heartening and healthy to be in contact regularly with people who have been where you’ve been and who don’t think you’re crazy!You could find a health practitioner, counselor or wellness coach. You can also find a local FM or chronic illness group or an online group or forum. There are blogs where you can comment and get to know others who also have FM.

If you can’t find someone with FM, a compassionate mentor such as clergy or a spiritual director or a volunteer from a health or religious organization might be able to help—preferably someone who has training in how to really listen to you. There ARE people out there who will understand, listen and help guide you. You DO NOT need to suffer alone. Please reach out and find a caring person (or two) or a group where you can get the support, compassion and understanding you need.

If you are interested in a compassionate coach who’s been there and can empathize, please click on the FIBRO FREEDOM COACHING tab on this BLOG.

ALSO, check back soon for Fibromyalgia Freedom Teleconferences to be scheduled starting in May of 2009, a great way to connect with others like you and receive inspiration and support.

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

Healing Therapies for Fibromyalgia: What are the Alternatives?

People often ask me about using alternative approaches for healing or relieving Fibromyalgia. Although some people are helped by traditional, western medicine, some do not get the relief and improved health they are hoping for.

 

What are the alternatives? From my experience, there are many great solutions for alleviating the common symptoms of Fibromyalgia. These include but are not limited to the following:

• Naturopathic Doctors, N.D.’s,
• Holistic, Wellness or Preventive Medicine Doctors, M.D.’s
• Acupuncturists, Often use Chinese Medicine and Herbals
• Ayurveda (Indian Health System) Practitioners or Educators
• CranioSacral Therapy
• Energy Therapies including Reiki
• Massage Therapists, Swedish, Deep Tissue, Acupressure and Essential Oils
• Wellness Coaches, Support for Lifestyle Changes Resulting in Greater Wellness
• Yoga Classes, Videos or Online Classes, Gentle, Relaxing Stretching and Poses
• Meditation Practice or Classes, Relaxing and Centering to Create Calm and Peace

 

If you want to learn more about these therapies you can type them into a search engine for information. If you are looking for a practitioner or classes in your area, you can check with natural health stores, natural health and wellness publications, ask around by word of mouth or search online for someone in your area.

 

Although I use some of these therapies, I do not endorse any particular one for Fibromyalgia. It’s best for you to try the ones that appeal to you the most and find what works well for you. Everyone has a different set of symptoms and will prefer different ways of coping with them.

 

There’s not room here for me to go into a lot of detail, but this should get you started. If you have specific questions, please use the contact form to submit your comments or questions.

 

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2009

Are You Living in Quiet Desperation?

People with FM often live with a high level of frustration, fatigue and pain. The chronic nature of FM symptoms can often lead to an emotional state I call “quiet desperation”. Not only are you hurting and can’t resolve your symptoms, but people don’t understand what you’re going through and it’s a huge challenge to get help and support. This is when you need to take matters into your own hands and consider designing your own self-help and self-management system.

 

What does living in quiet desperation mean to you? Does it mean you feel alone, hopeless, frustrated and exasperated? Does it mean you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired?  Does it mean you’re living in the fast lane, but it’s not what you want to do? Does it mean you’re putting in a full day, but at the end of the day you’re exhausted and thinking “what did I do for ME today?” Does it mean you are thinking there’s something of REAL meaning you should be doing but you are not? Does it mean you bury your passion for what you want because others drain your time and energy or shoot down your dreams? Does it mean you’re always being a “good sport”? Does it mean you never get you own needs met?

 

OR, does living in quiet desperation just mean that you need HELP? Do you? Are you asking for help? Are you NOT asking for help because you think you can do everything all by yourself? NO YOU CAN’T! Ask for help. Talk to your spouse, your family, your friend, your co-worker. Connect with a spiritual community. See a counselor or hire a life coach. Find a support group or start one yourself.

 

You don’t have to do it alone! You don’t have to live in QUIET DESPERATION! Ask and you shall receive. Just try it—ask, and be open to receiving help.

 

HERE’S HOW TO STOP LIVING IN QUIET DESPERATION:

 

• Speak up
• Be brave
• Take a stand
• Courageously open your heart
• Allow assistance
• Live in the SLOW lane
• Follow your passion
• Take care of you
• Embrace bliss and peace

 

My own experience has taught me that once you are open to self-management and a daily focus on your own self-care you can greatly reduce the symptoms and challenges of FM. Your “quiet desperation” will begin to dissipate when you take responsibility for getting your needs met.

 

Copyright Christine O’Dell, 2008